Bork Bork Bork!

Thanks to Andy at TouchSA, I’ve come across a couple of rather cool, funny things on the interblags. They are all related, but I’ll go through all of them. They all relate to that funniest of television chefs: the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show.

  • The first is the Firefox extension that translates the web content into Bork Bork Bork.
  • Secondly, Google has Bork, bork, bork as one of it’s languages, so you can have it in that language whenever you search. Note that this is for the Google pages only, not the search results themselves.
  • Finally, I found a tool that converts any entered text into Bork Bork Bork. (Swedish Chef!)

• Thunks tu Undy et TuoochSA, I’fe-a cume-a ecruss a cuoople-a ooff rezeer cuul, foonny theengs oon zee interblegs. Zeey ere-a ell releted, boot I’ll gu thruoogh ell ooff zeem. Zeey ell relete-a tu thet foonneeest ooff telefeesiun cheffs: zee Svedeesh Cheff frum zee Mooppet Shoo. Zee furst is zee Fureffux ixtenseeun thet trunsletes zee veb cuntent intu Bork Bork Bork. Secundly, Guugle-a hes Bork, bork, bork es oone-a ooff it’s lungooeges, su yuoo cun hefe-a it in thet lungooege-a vhenefer yuoo seerch. Nute-a thet thees is fur zee Guugle-a peges oonly, nut zee seerch resoolts zeemselfes. Feenelly, I fuoond a tuul thet cunferts uny intered text intu Bork Bork Bork. (Svedeesh Cheff!)

Technorati and...

… blogs with multiple domain names. This blog has a couple of different domain names by which it can be accessed. I would prefer it all to be schinckel.net, but it’s not possible to have Blogsome work properly if it thinks that is the domain name. I’ve got it pretty close (most of the links, for instance, point to a schinckel.net location), but since it is a multiple user system, and the way it works out which database the data should be gathered from, the domain name must end with blogsome.com. So, in one sense future-proofing myself (if Blogsome shut down, I would simply repost all of the data onto a new system, and just point schinckel.net there), and another because it’s a shorter domain, I want links to go to there instead. But, there is one bad side-effect. I use technorati for seeing incoming links, but with the setting change I talked about above, it only now picks up links coming to schinckel.net, not schinckel.net, which isn’t really good enough. Since I get more links coming to the latter than the former. So my dashboard doesn’t get to see most of the links I’m really interested in…

IE and Javascript

I’ve got a lovely inline/AJAX search tool, but it doesn’t quite work properly with Internet Explorer. I use onsubmit="Search(); return false" so that it works well with JavaScript, and still continues to load the search page if JavaScript is disabled, but this fails in IE. That is, it still loads the search page, even though it attempts to load the results inline first. I wonder if I need to make the Search() function return false too?

Dr. Karl cracks a funny

Dr Karl from ABC radio is a funny, clever man. One of his recent podcasts/radio segments was called “Pluck for Luck,” and discussed four-leaf clovers. The funny thing he said almost slipped past my attention the first time around:

Stressors can come in a variety of forms. Drought, rain, aphids, Leprechauns, …

I had to listen to it again, just to see if I’d heard it right!

Sometimes PostSecret isn't funny

It’s just mind-blowing… Ugh.  Nasty photos of Dad. This one’s funny, in it’s own way: Who is the stupidest of them all?

Dear Jane, My name isn’t Frank. It’s Mary.

And for Justin Timberlake fans: I’ve got a hairy back… (sung to the tune of Sexy Back).

For Rent: Brooklyn Park

Due to my stupidity in renting my flat to an (alleged) wife-basher, it is now vacant again. If anyone wants to live on Marion Road, just of Henley Beach Road, leave a comment, with your email address in the right box, and I’ll get back to you. Price is $265 p.w., available now. Stainless steel kitchen, Airconditioner, Garage, Security System. Quiet group of 5, established water-wise garden. Close to public transport and late-night supermarket. No pets, or wankers, please. Please, children, no superfluous comments. I will issue detentions.

Politician makes obvious claim

[Parents warned kids may copy movie stunts   The Australian]1

I urge parents to keep an eye on their children so they don’t copy these sorts of stunts and possibly end up in a hospital emergency department.

Fancy that, hey. Kids copying stunts from Movies. Next from inane Minister: Eating food stops you being hungry. Idiot.

Battlestar Galactica, Series 3

    Tags:
  • tv

I missed the first season of the new Battlestar Galactica. Something to do with it being on late at night, during _WoW_time, and not always being on at the same time every week. I was a big fan as a kid of the original series (I even have BSG wallpaper in my room at my parents’ house!), so I was looking forward to the new series. And I wasn’t disappointed. From the first moment, BSG was fantastic. I was forced, by the ineptitude of the Channel 9 programmers, to download the first series via BitTorrent - or rather, have a friend who had already done so burn me a copy. Season 2, which is currently being shown, and which, since it wasn’t advertised, I missed the first couple of episodes, fell into the same boat. Download the lot of them, at least that way I get to see it in the right order. And now, with Nine still showing season 2, while #3 is on the US, I’ve had to revert to BT again. Man is this season good. I disliked the ending of the last season - it seemed to change character way too much in the way it was set up for the occupation. I watched the Webisodes regardless, and didn’t mind them. And then Season 3. I’m still a couple of episodes behind the US, but I’m hooked again. The way this series, unlike virtually every other program on television ever, isn’t afraid to do a good bit of character development, and then, suddenly, kill off the characters. Just like that. (Although, just quietly, I’m still not convinced the one they killed in Episode 4 isn’t a Cylon.) They could have padded out the Resistance a bit more - I’d like to think I’m not spoiling too much by saying they got off the planet a little to easily, but hey, it was ballsy. And sacrificing a BattleStar - I’m not sure that was such a good idea, either. Surely they could have managed to come up with a way to jump away at the last minute. Or did they…? And the mind games the Cylons manage to play with each of the characters. I love it.

Psychobabble Bullshit

I listen to a variety of Podcasts, including All In The Mind, “Radio National’s weekly foray into all things mental,” and generally like it. As I’m known to do, I take exception (or get annoyed) with particular segments. The two podcasts I listened to today irked me especially. The first was a discussion of Placenta Brain, and the general consensus was that it doesn’t exist. I know of this phenomenon by it’s alternative name, Mummy Mind, and I have seen it in all of the women I am close to who have borne children. The general theories go like this: somehow (possibly due to hormones) women become different during pregnancy, often exhibiting behaviours they wouldn’t normally, like leaving their car running when running an errand, and being surprised to see if running when they return. I would go somewhat further than this. Bearing children permanently damages their minds. My sister, who was a perfectly normal, intelligent person, suddenly started making inane comments about all sorts of things. Something which she had not done before giving birth to my favourite nephew. I had grown up with my mother making crazy statements (often obvious ones) and had just put this down to it being her. After my sister had her baby, if occurred to me that Mum had been smart in her youth (her school reports, and discussion with friends and family from that era confirm this) and had simply lost her marbles (not totally) after giving birth. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and sister very much. I don’t profess that they are totally bonkers, just not as “sharp” as they used to be. And giving birth seems to be, for both of them, the turning point in their lives as intelligent individuals. More than just the impairment during pregnancy, I think it seems to linger… • The second podcast was an interview with a Jewish Psychiatrist practicing in Israel, and treating both Israelis and Palestinians. This seemed to set him off on a good path, but he started to throw in some pretty inane language himself, particularly some of the Jungian Jargon (Always Alliterate!!!) and I quickly lost respect for him. It’s the first Podcast for a long time I have skipped the end of. His discussion of recurring dreams was a particular annoyance of mine: I can’t find the exact quote in the transcript, but it was something like:

The thing about recurring dreams is that they are telling the mind something. And the fact they repeat is because the mind “just doesn’t get it.”

I’m still of the impression that dreams have very little relation to reality. If we can see something in our dreams, it is only because we want to. Dreams are like “random events”, or spring cleaning of the brain’s circuitry. Any relationship to real life is only because there are all these events, images, sounds, memories, and our mind just attempts to fit them into what it perceives as reality. Forcing the facts to fit a theory, as it were. Anyway, he started to go on with a bit of rubbish after that - I’d arrived home (hardest ride I’d had for a while, pretty much head-wind all of the way home, with a bit of a rise for the last kilometre or so), and often while I continue to the end, I skipped it. • Now, before I get too many nasty comments about the first part - please note that I’ve deliberately played it up a little. My family are not loopy (perhaps just a little, but that’s a whole other story). I’m merely stating the anecdotal evidence I have seen about cognitive deterioration during, and indeed after, pregnancy. And, I have some other cases, but I’m saving them for my paper on the topic… after all, Fraud, ahem, Freud, Jung’s mentor, based all of his theories on a handful of cases.

Category Dreaming...

…on such a Winter’s Day.

California Dreamin’ • “Room Service” • José Feliciano ★★★

Okay, that’s just a silly lead-in to what I’m going to post about. For some time, I’ve been trying to get Category Pages to handle a bit nicer in Blogsome. I needed to be able to get a Category ID from a Category name, and I hadn’t figured out how to. I’d basically given up. Then I found my new best friend, {get_cat_ID cat_name='Cat_Name'}. He allows me to do this. And much easier than I thought it would be, too.

    {if $smarty.server.REQUEST_URI|truncate:10:'':1 == '/category/'}
        {capture name=cat}
            {single_cat_title}
        {/capture}     
        {capture name=catID}
            {get_cat_ID cat_name=$smarty.capture.cat}
        {/capture}
    {/if}

Now, how do we use this to get child categories?

    {list_cats optionall='0' list='false' child_of='$smarty.capture.catID'}

This appears to not work, as it continues to get all of the categories. I think there is an issue with child_of, at least on Blogsome.

    {get_category_children id=$smarty.capture.catID}

Only generates the IDs of the child categories. Useful, but not excellent for my uses. However, there exists also a function called {wp_list_cats}, which allows for arguments in the for &arg=value.

    {wp_list_cats args=&child_of=`$smarty.capture.catID`”} 

Notably, you must use double quotes when trying to embed a variable inside an argument. Final code (not counting CSS, that’s up to you - or look in my StyleSheet):

{if $smarty.server.REQUEST_URI|truncate:10:'':1 == '/category/'} 
    {*Category Index Page*}
    <div class=“catNav”>
        {capture name=cat}{single_cat_title}{/capture}
        {capture name=catID}
            {get_cat_ID cat_name=$smarty.capture.cat}
        {/capture}
        Currently browsing 
        {get_category_parents category="`$smarty.capture.catID`" link="1" separator="&raquo;"}, which has sub-categories 
        <ul class=“inlineCatList”>
            {wp_list_cats args=&&list=0&children=0&child_of=`$smarty.capture.catID`”}
        </ul>
    </div>
{/if}

And, thanks to minimalnet, since because of the post in the forums: How can i show the Dashboard Blog Stats in my blog?, I began scouring the source code again.

Summer The First TimeBobby GoldsboroRoom Service